shortcrust said: Hi! I've long identified with, and always considered myself, an ENFJ. However there is a small section of the profile that bothers me - I am a scientist. I am doing a Masters degree, already planning a PhD. I always feel, to a given degree, an ENFJ profile erases over the part of me which likes order, reason, things in their place (even though I feel this part very strongly in regards to personal relationships and a hate of conflict). Help? Perhaps in that case an ESFJ type is more fitting? :)

Hi! Thanks for the ask - I looked at your blog quickly, and it does look like you’re probably an ENFJ (the combo of fall, fashion, windows and blankets, puppies, the decemberists and a smattering of social justice is pretty visually ENFJ!). A big chunk of personality is also environmental, and the types that you grow up around. Are your parents or siblings orderly people?

True story: I thought I was an INTJ for the longest time. I looooove science, especially biology, too. I was raised by a science-y family, and if I hadn’t gone into music, 16-year old me probably would have gone off to study biology of some sort. ENFJs love and study a variety of things, for sure.

In the past four years or so, I’ve been around a lot of strong-minded S types, and they have definitely helped me develop my order/reason/action skills. I think if you’re in your early 20s and have developed some of those skills already, you’re ahead of me and probably the curve :)

I think the best indicator of ENFJ vs ESFJ is more how you interact with your environment. Young ENFJs take on the feelings and emotions of everyone around them, until they learn to ‘block it out’. It can be overwhelming, to feel that many things. I can’t speak for the ESFJs, but I think they tend to put their emotions out onto their environment, rather than the other way around. Does that make sense?

Anonymous said: Breaking Up with ENFJS 201

Ugggh. How do you break up with anyone?

Treat them like a human being. Be kind and direct.

meishrooms said: Come back. :'( As a wandering ENFJ, I come to this blog more than once a day to check for anything new. Everything here is just so goshdarn relatable haha.

Heee! And as a wandering ENFJ, this is totally the centre of my attention until everything else comes along and I have to do ALLLL THE THINGS.

Thanks for your kind words ;)

meishrooms said: I asked this earlier, but I think it got eaten by Tumblr. ENFJ, ISFP, and ENTJ go shopping together?

In short…

ENTJ: … striped knee socks are totally hot, I don’t care what you say.
ENFJ: We’re grocery shopping.
ENTJ: I fail to see your point.
ENFJ: Hey, have you seen ISFP?
ENTJ:
ISFP: Hey guys, sorry.
ENTJ: Where were you?
ISFP: That store clerk just asked me out. Aggggh.
ENFJ: So that makes three marriage proposals today?
ENTJ: You said yes, right?
ENFJ: You said no, right?
ISFP: I gave them my number… I tried not to, but it just kind of happened.

Anonymous said: Asking ENFJ Girls Out 101. Go.

enfjpuppettheatre:

ASK THEM TO DO AN OUTDOOR SCAVENGER HUNT WITH YOU. GIVE THEM A MAP. IF THE CLUES ARE A MIXTURE OF HAND-DRAWN AND SILLY SONG LYRICS, THAT WOULD BE OKAY.

Alternatively, pass them a piece of paper that says “WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME? PLEASE CHECK ONE”. To clarify, the options should be “Yes,” “Most Definitely,” and “OKAY, I APPRECIATE YOUR OPTIMISM”. Ticky boxes are important. If the piece of paper is not returned, you should maybe consider that a sign.

Alternative no. 2, use your words. But not in front of other people. And ambiguous statements like “I want to see that movie, yeah! Hint hint hint.” don’t count because wtf does that mean. BE EXPLICIT DIRECT, IF YOU WANT US TO CATCH ON. Otherwise, 3 days later, the ENFJ will wake up in the middle of the night like…”Was that person asking me out????”.

GOOD LUCK, HAVE FUN, MAY THE SCAVENGER HUNTS & BICYCLE RIDES & WALKING NOWHERES BE FUN & MANY.

Reblogging to add - this goes for ENFJ men too. Include the ENFJ ladies AND men in your scavenger hunting plans. So go, ask out ALL THE ENFJs in fun and colourful ways.

GO DATE THEM ALL. BUT LIKE, ONLY ONE AT A TIME.

PREFERABLY.

UNLESS ALL PARTIES ARE INTO THAT. THEN, Y’KNOW. HAVE FUN. BUT MAKE GOOD CHOICES.

Anonymous said: Asking ENFJ Girls Out 101. Go.

ASK THEM TO DO AN OUTDOOR SCAVENGER HUNT WITH YOU. GIVE THEM A MAP. IF THE CLUES ARE A MIXTURE OF HAND-DRAWN AND SILLY SONG LYRICS, THAT WOULD BE OKAY.

Alternatively, pass them a piece of paper that says “WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME? PLEASE CHECK ONE”. To clarify, the options should be “Yes,” “Most Definitely,” and “OKAY, I APPRECIATE YOUR OPTIMISM”. Ticky boxes are important. If the piece of paper is not returned, you should maybe consider that a sign.

Alternative no. 2, use your words. But not in front of other people. And ambiguous statements like “I want to see that movie, yeah! Hint hint hint.” don’t count because wtf does that mean. BE EXPLICIT DIRECT, IF YOU WANT US TO CATCH ON. Otherwise, 3 days later, the ENFJ will wake up in the middle of the night like…”Was that person asking me out????”.

GOOD LUCK, HAVE FUN, MAY THE SCAVENGER HUNTS & BICYCLE RIDES & WALKING NOWHERES BE FUN & MANY.

Anonymous said: Could you describe the relationship between a female ENFJ and a male ISTJ?

All of these posts in the ISTJ tag are based on that combo ;)

Basically:
ISTJ: Gruff mumbling and o.O stories.
ENFJ: HAHAHA ILU, JK, YOU’RE HORRIBLE, JK, YOU’RE MY FAVOURITE.

Tags: asks mbti enfj istj

shans-realm said: That INTPGame is seriously fun. Like... I actually Like it. (okay that sounded weird, don't rewind it twice, just remember the thought that was behind the post okay?) I'm supposed to head to bed but I like it on your blog. ...I'll have to come back here more often! I'm out!

anonymous said: What do ENFJs honestly think of INTPs?

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infjfangirl said: Did you type Colin Morgan an ENFJ just because he's wearing plaid? or are there other aspects that made you type him that way? I was just wondering. I've been a huge fan of his for about 6 years now and he seems extremely introverted to me. Thanks.

mbti-sorted:

No, the plaid thing is mostly an in-joke with enfjpuppettheatre.  Nearly everyone wears plaid at some point so it’s hardly the best indicator to find a picture or an interview with a flannel shirt.  More of a funny trend that keeps popping up.

There are a couple of things about Colin Morgan (that he is basically boy-enfjpuppettheatre being one) but I guess I’ll go with sense of humour.  Introverted INFJ humour tends towards the dark, blurted inappropriately.  Think a well timed punchline by someone with poor delivery.   I’ve found that it passes most people by (the INFJ spoke too quietly), or that people are so shocked to hear the INFJ speaking that it takes a while to process what they’ve said.  Usually the humour comes out of their Ni, so the logic leaps also confound a lot of people. (Personally, I find them hilarious.)

Introverted ENFJs can also be dark, but usually in the way where they’re telling a story in a way that makes the subject matter seem funny when it really isn’t.  They are more inclined to be ridiculous than dark, though.  They’re the sweetest, kindest trolls.  They have firm boundaries in dealing with people, and exposing their dark side is not the go-to - which is the ENFJ making themselves the butt of jokes.  Only with young introverted ENFJs (up to early 20s, at least), you will never see this unless they’re your friend, family or other trusted human.  They don’t deal very well with most authority figures.

Back to Colin Morgan, specifically his behind-the-scenes ridiculousness with Bradley James where he plays up the idiot shtick - basically classic ENFJ (I don’t know if enfjpuppettheatre even remembers this, but she once taped a note with a less pithy version of “Je suis Loser” to my door).  INFJs would not be able to forget they were being filmed enough to let go for most of the stuff they get up to. 

Colin does get nervous in interviews (he gets better at these the older he gets, and the only time he ever really says anything awkward is the first couple of interviews where he can’t stop saying “brilliant” in answer to every question) but he also smoothly never gives up anything spoilery and also keeps decent eye contact, which would be nearly impossible for a nervous INFJ.  At a convention, he was managing a room full of fans and fellow actors excellently, neatly slipping around potentially awkward shipping questions.  INFJs can have problems with questions like “What’s your favourite (fill in the blank)?” where they need a lot of time to think through their options and get annoyed that they have to choose between seemingly unimportant things (and will try to weasel out of giving an answer).  Like, I’m not saying he’s completely comfortable and outgoing around crowds of people, but they’re not exactly tripping him up or making him panic either.

Hiiiiiiii. There are lots of puppet theatre scenarios & lovely messages in my inbox! I know it’s been very self-help around here lately. I do very much love when you send me asks for either/both… I’ve just been slightly swamped with off-tumblr things. I’ll be back to regularly scheduled self-deprecating puppet humour later in the week. Woo!

xx enfjpuppettheatre & Alfred the bear

p.s. In the meantime, Alfred will tap dance for your entertainment.

thespookymaker said: Do you have any advice for ENFJs who blame themselves for the results of their previous relationships? I'm trying to help one out, but I don't have enough experience with romantic relationships to even know where to begin.

Well, without knowing the specifics of your ENFJ’s relationship…

1. Dancing your face off at gay clubs to house remixes of Adele with your gay BFFs in the early morning is amazingly cathartic. That was a turning point for me, once.

2. We do assign more blame to ourselves in post-production… I attribute this to my sketchy memory. Remind your ENFJ of the other party’s dick moves, and although they’ll probably try to defend the other party, they might also be like “OH YEAH, THAT WAS GARBAGE. I’M WELL OUT OF THAT.”

3. Give them time. ENFJs hold on to feelings for a LONG while. Partly because we’re vindicated when we let someone in and it doesn’t work out. And partly, like, the second we have something special, we’re imagining 100 000 futures with that person. In any relationship that’s over, it sucks that you won’t get to have those future good times. But don’t expect it to go away overnight… or even over months.

4. Get them excited about new shiny future plans, and being a better ENFJ. Whether this involves relationships or career ambitions, we like to have new goals and new dreams! Make a bucket list (short-term and long-term) and help them attack a few things on there :)

Hope that’s #helpful. Let me know how it goes!

chocolatequeennk said: Your answer on ENFJ careers was really helpful. I especially appreciated points 1, 5, and 10--those are things most profiles tend to ignore, focusing instead of the helping people angle. But the need for a creative outlet, our ability to pull various strands into one piece, and the need for more than a desk job are all critical to career happiness. Point 5 is even more important if your creative outlet is a hobby, because working 40 hrs at a desk leaves you too drained to be creative later.

Thx! Yeah, it’s hard to learn that career satisfaction doesn’t necessarily come from what your job choice is, so much as how you do it. Because suddenly you’re responsible for your own happiness. WHICH IS SCARY.

Anonymous said: I just read korraismybaby's question, what do you think about a relationship between an INFJ male and an ENFJ female?

Ok, I was being a bit facetious. I mean, there are lots of kinds of love besides romantic love. I’ve talked about ENFJs and INFPs before, which is why I was being a bit flippant (and also, too many hours at a desk, sorry). NFs are really tuned-into each other in a way that is hard to find with, say, SFs or STs. It’s super unique, and that can be a good thing, or a bad thing. I love other NFs, but to me they are more like family, or reallllllly good friends.There are probably lots of NF-NF relationships that work. Maybe?

Sally over at mbti-sorted can probably confirm Y/N. SALLY?!

jayperior said: Hey! ENFJ here and I'm a new follower. Just wanted to say that this blog is absolutely hilarious and most things about the ENFJ/INTP interactions are so spot on that it makes me laugh! My ex-gf is an INTP so reading some of this stuff has been a hilarious nostalgia trip. Keep up the fun work!

Thank you, kind Sir!

Here everyone, have some gratuitous ENFJ + INTP on camera.