The S- type vs N- type Litmus Test

The individual in question has a large, ambitious goal that will take an extended period of time to realize. Do they-

a) IMMEDIATELY TAKE ACTION, IN A SMALL BUT PURPOSEFUL WAY. FEELING ACCOMPLISHED, THEY TAKE ANOTHER STEP TOWARDS VICTORY. YAY, DOING THINGS!!!

b) make a sandwich… contemplate all of their life choices that have brought them to this point in time… research the matter thoroughly, getting distractedly on Wikipedia by tangential research… consider possible avenues that they may or may not actually pursue … GET REALLY EXCITED….and then select a plan to carry out later in the week.

If you chose:

a) congrats, they are probably an S type. DOING THINGS!!!
b) congrats, they are probably an N type. ALL THE THINGS ARE HAPPENING IN THEIR HEADS!!!

*which is grossly over-simplified, but basically: are they constantly taking action? S-TYPE!

Anonymous asked: Hey! Your posts are really interesting! I'm quite new to this MBTI thing, and I was wondering how you tell what types people are? Do you get all your friends to take a test, or do you just intuitively judge (haha, get it?) their type? If it's the latter do you have any tips for telling what types people are? I have a bit of trouble distinguishing the S and N part especially. Also could you please tell me what the ENFJ x ESFP relationship looks like? Does it work? Thanks, keep up the awesomeness!

My older siblings (all million, er, three of them) are the ones who got me into MBTI, and we’ve talked about it SO MUCH. No, more than that. We Skype every Sunday night, since we live in different places, and half of the time discussion devolves into MBTI speak. We’re all N-types, so take that as you will.

At first a lot of it was gobble-de-gook, and indignation that we’re not all as unique and snowflakey like we’d like to think, but after awhile it’s easy to spot patterns in behaviour, personality traits, and expression. Sometimes I meet people and I’m like WHOA, RAGING ISTP ALERT. Other times it takes me a long while to even form an educated guess.

What really helps me spot specific MBTI-types (and apologies if this gets MBTI controversial) is that two of my sisters developed a pretty extensive MBTI-HogwartsHouse theory. I didn’t really pay attention initially, but it makes solid sense to me now, and makes typing people easy. People’s motivations and values are pretty revealing. If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard an ISFP Slytherin say “WINNING!” without irony… Let’s just say it’s a thing that happens. My sister has a blog (http://mbti-sorted.livejournal.com/) if you want to know more.  She’s smart, so give her discourse and trouble (polite trouble!) if you’re interested in that type of thing.

Hmm. I’ll post an S/N litmus test later, puppet theatre style.

As for ENFJ/ESFP - I’ll do a puppet theatre for that one later, too. But, like, the thing about relationships is that theoretically any two types could be in a relationship that “works” - if they are well rounded, functional people. That’s what I think, anyways. DON’T LET MBTI BE YOUR BOSS! If anything, it’s a great tool that’s can give you extra patience/understanding when dealing with people that see, and react to, the world differently than you do. Like, as a result of MBTI awareness, I get to enjoy the company and smarts of people that would probably otherwise drive me to drink ;)

Thanks for the lovely message!

Anonymous asked: "so, what we’ve learned here is that the ISTJs don’t have to try very hard ;) when you reverse the scenario though, OH BOY." PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD IN THIS WORLD REVERSE THE SCENARIO

ENFJ: Hiiiii. I’m going to get your attention with a very bad joke.
ISTJ: Oh, hello. That was exceptionally awful.
ENFJ:.I would like to monopolize your time now.
ISTJ: … nah. I’m good.
ENFJ: OMG boundaries! I totally respect that.
ISTJ:
ENFJ: :D
ISTJ: Related to nothing, I have explicitly told you that I don’t do subtext, but I’m going to state that again. Just for the record.
ENFJ: Ahahahaha, that’s nice. :D
ISTJ: Soooo. Explicitly stating anything today?
ENFJ: Ahahaha, nah, I’m good. Just these self-deprecating stories here.
ISTJ: Ohhhh, k. We’re on the same page, as usual.
ENFJ: And I’m going to think ALL THE FEELINGS at you REALLY HARD.
ISTJ: What was that?
ENFJ: NOTHING!!!
ISTJ: Ohhhhh, k.
ENFJ: If you weren’t such a calming presence, I would have a meltdown because you can’t read my mind!!!!
ISTJ: You’re a giant weirdo.
ENFJ: I would explicitly state that I like you. But you make me the emotionally unstable person in the room, so I am instead going to tease you about how much of a jerk you are. A really awesome, uh, jerk!
ISTJ: I would acknowledge that we’re still at emotionally stunted pigtail-pulling stage, but that would that would be giving up the game, I think.

Anonymous asked: Can ENFJs be rather chilldish? Because I match the ENFJ functions very well, but I thought I was INFP because I'm so childish? But I really relate to how you portray ENFJs... help?

It depends what you mean by childish, I think. Bad jokes, living in our heads & permanent sense of wonder… along with interpersonal misreads, hard time muddling through daily adult tasks? Yep, check! But we’re also, like, socially responsible to a fault, from an early age. We’d rather chew off our own mittens than knowingly leave someone hanging. And are hypersensitive to what the “socially correct” thing to do is, at any given time.

Anonymous asked: Who do you think ENFJs would make the cutest couples with? (ENFJ being the female, the other being the male. ;)) Thanks.

Hmmm, this is a fun question. There are different kinds of cute. But I’m going to go with cute-loving-mutual-respect-functional, INTP or ISTJ.

If we’re going cute-saccharine-sweet-may-implode-though, INFP or ISFP.

Anonymous asked: So two things - as a teenager I was an ENFJ. Then I sort of "grew up" and "got a job" and these sorts of things, and became an INTP. Then, magically, in my thirties, I realized I am transgender. So, transitioned, and so on, and it went very well. I am happy. But when I take the MBTI at work, I am an INTP. I suspect this is grown-up me. Something else emerges anywhere else – where I am an ENFJ. The other thing is, I am married to an ISTJ. Anyhow, curious about your thoughts. I love being ENFJ. :)

Thanks for the comment! I love reading other people’s MBTI stories :)

I’m not entirely sure what I think, when it comes to ‘multiple’ or ‘flexible’ MBTI types. My older siblings first introduced me to MBTI when I was a teenager. For context, I was semi-poorly adjusted kid, with a very weak idea of who I was, and often in an environment where my ENFJ-ish traits were discouraged. I tested as an INTJ, which did reflect my outward behaviour to some degree, in the shallowest of senses - I was a quiet kid, into science and math, and saw the world through a lens of pointed sarcasm. I made a really bad INTJ. I didn’t bring any of the inherently awesome traits of an INTJ to the table. I was just kind of a miserable, angry xNxJ who refused to engage with my own feelings, or the world at large.

It’s clear to me that I’ve been an ENFJ my whole life, though it took me a long time to grow into being a happy and functional one. There are lots of examples of “ENFJ traits” throughout my childhood and teenage years, but that’s probably another post. I think it’s true of a lot of ‘N’ types, that we take longer to get comfortable with who we are, than our ‘S’ type counterparts.

As for environmental behaviour, that’s definitely a thing. I am a much different person at work than I am with friends, or family. I think that’s a normal, and healthy thing. But because I spent a lot of years as an unhappy ENFJ, I do get hypersensitive to skirting the line between “ENFJ in a professional setting” and “ENFJ in a professional environment that makes me shut down”.

Also… ENFJ X ISTJ for the win! I’d love to hear stories about your relationship.

ISTJ x ENFJ continued

ENFJ: You are an idiot.
ISTJ: You tell awful jokes.
ENFJ: I am disgustingly in love with you.  I hate you.
ISTJ: Same. I hate you more. Let’s go watch team sports.

Anonymous asked: What about an ENFJ and an ISTJ in a relationship? What would a conversation sound like?

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Yep.

Anonymous asked: what are ISTPs and INFJs like together? ISTPs and ENFJs?

ISTP: *walks away muttering* WHAT A DIFFICULT PERSON.
INFJ: *retreats to grumble over a cup of tea* WHAT A DIFFICULT PERSON.

*both go home to watch America’s Next Top Model*

Anonymous asked: I had a really terrible day and then I found this blog. Thanks so much dude. You're lovely.

Thanks, fwiend! What a sweet message to find.

Tags: asks

Anonymous asked: Hi, I sent you an ask several months ago that I think got eaten by Tumblr. Do you have any thoughts on the dark side of the ENFP/INTJ relationship? I had a really disastrous relationship with an ENFP, despite the fact that we're supposed to be MBTI soulmates.

ENFP: *charming, silly*
INTJ: *impossibly smart*
ENFP: *does something a little off-colour*
INTJ: *calls ENFP on bullshit*
ENFP: *respects that, has lots of feelings about it*
INTJ: *fundamentally does not attempt to engage with these feelings*
ENFP: *anxiety spiral*

I love this pairing when it works - there is a lot of capacity for caring, growth, escapades & mutual admiration.

Edited to say: I wrote the above based on female INTJ/male ENFP. I find that INTJs are one of the mbti types where the female/male behaviour patterns are fairly different based on social expectations and norms.  The whole thing where we kind of embrace our smart men, and reward them for showing it off, but give the smart ladies a hard time for doing the same thing. In my experience, INTJ men are more likely to close down in a relationship, and the ENFP woman go into a bit of overdrive to compensate.Thoughts?

maeflower10 asked: How many questions can I ask you before you get annoyed? :P Which is your favorite type interaction to write about?

I am surprisingly hard to annoy - but I do have to go walk home in the coooold soon! I like writing the introverted S types, I think. People who competently get on with doing things are a mystery to me…. Also any type, going about small moments in life. That’s fun.

maeflower10 asked: Bears are adorable and give very good hugs. So it's appropriate, I'm sure. Alfred sounds perfect! I told Siri his new name was Alfred, but he doesn't like it. I've had a few ENTP friends. And I can't avoid random teasing or arguments with them, because they're quite contrary very often. Essentially it goes: ENTP: *random pun* ENFJ: *pretends to be annoyed* ENTP: *logical argument about why ENFJ isn't annoyed* ENFJ: *sputters* or, alternatively *sasses*

Siri’s loss. Nice socks!

And yep, that does sound about right! :) Have you ever watched the Bachelor? Reid & Jillian Harris were the ENTP/ENFJ combo - great friends although he got SUPER stressed out about their relationship on the train ride across the rockies.

ISTJ X ENFJ obliviousness, case in point:

ISTJ: Oh, cool, we’re like IN YOUR BEDROOM.
ENFJ: Yeah, so anyways, that story I was telling you BLAH BLAH BLAH.
ISTJ: *Meaningful Look*
ENFJ: I want to show you this cool thing outside where there are lots of people-
ISTJ: Oh, ok. Sure.

*An actual year later*

ENFJ: OMG. What did I do.

Anonymous asked: 2 questions. 1) Who is the bear? it is awesome, and i want to know if it has a name. 2) ENFJ/ENTP joke arguments. <---- this isn't a question exactly, but I do have one. Have you had them? If so, are they as fun for you?

1) The bear does not have a name! I am fond of all bears, especially ones that are jaunty walkers like this one, and would appreciate suggestions in naming said bear. Until further notice, he can be Alfred.

2) I don’t know many ENTPs apart from the one that I stalk on twitter, err, I mean follow, err I mean enjoy his radio show in a respectful and appropriate fashion. Do you have an example of an ENTP/ENFJ argument you’ve had? (Having said that, I do like to tease them about their dorky interests, which is completely hypocritical…).