Three INFJs walked into a bar…
No, wait, that’s never happened.
Three INFJs walked into a bar…
No, wait, that’s never happened.
ENFJ: Look at the song and dance routine I made up!
ISTJ: Hahaha. I will laugh at you and then reluctantly join right in.
ENFJ: I am playing match-maker!
ISTJ: I am seriously concerned for your mental health. But also for me.
ENFJ: You can thank me when you marry our mutual friend!
ISTJ: I broke up with said mutual friend.
ENFJ: AAKLDJFAKLDJ. I was picking out your wedding playlist already.
ISTJ: I haven’t told them yet though - maybe you could..? No? OK.
ENFJ: So I was walking to school, carrying my cardboard project and then it started to RAIN. Not just rain, POUR.
ISTJ: And then a bus drove by and splashed you?
ISTJ: BEST STORY EVER.
ISTJ: …and then my car died in the middle of the highway.
ENFJ: Oh no!
ISTJ: And it took three hours for the tow-truck to come.
ENFJ: Your stories usually have more strippers.
ISTJ: Wait for it. I haven’t even gotten to the toothless police officer.
ISTJ: Yes, I still work at the same place I did when we were 12, despite having two advanced degrees.
ENFJ: That’s OK, I can’t stay in the same job more than 12 months!
ISTJ: I will make a to-do list of practical things for you to do, when you go back to your home on the other side of the country.
ENFJ: Here’s a list of ADVENTURES for you to have this year.
ISTJ: You can pretend I’m not cringing if it makes you feel better!
ENFJ: Oh hey, there’s someone I think you should date.
ISTJ: Absolutely not. Have you learned nothing?
ENFJ: Hey, mutual friend is HAPPILY MARRIED I’ll have you know.
ISTJ: Yes, to someone who is NOT ME.
ENFJ: I fail to see your point.
… an ISTJ is that rare person who makes an ENFJ feel like they are the flailing trainwreck in the room for a change.
Anonymous asked enfjpuppettheatre:
what do you think an ENFJ and ISTJ relationship is like? any kind of relationship.
There are a lot of ISTJs out there! a quick Google puts them at 11-14 % of the population, which means that they’re one of the four most common MBTI types. For me, this means that the ISTJs come in different sub-categories. Like the gruff pillar-of-the-community ISTJs, or the quiet & slightly dorky but extremely hardworking ISTJs, and what I fondly call the “TRY REALLY HARD - DO THEY HAVE ANY KNOWN FLAWS?” ISTJs… the first two kinds I get along with swimmingly. Swimmingly!
Anonymous asked enfjpuppettheatre: ENTJ x INTP ship?
INTP: So, here is my theory on the topic of-
ENTJ: Do you realize how much money we could make off of that??
INTP: Well, I mean, it’s not really proven - or meant yet for financial gain. There are some serious pitfalls, too, like-
ENTJ: WE ARE GOING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD. You are so hot.
INTP: I’m a little scared, but also turned on.
ENTJ: Let’s make out.
INTP: Here??? There are people!
ENTJ: Stop pretending to be care & also I prefer to call them minions.
What do you get when you cross the most intuitively brilliant people with the ones who attract schemes and capers like a magnet? The downfall of the known universe, that’s what! I mean they would spend more time flirting with moral ambiguity than each other ;)
starrysweater asked: This is the best thing ever. As a fellow ENFJ who has recently become worryingly obsessed with MBTI, this rings so true it hurts my ears. Would you do something on friendships with ESTJs and ENFPs and INFJs...
Thanks for the kind words!
The ENFP X ENFJ friendship is 97% inside jokes, fake bickering and laughing until you cry over the lamest jokes ever. The other 3% is OMG I WANT TO SHAKE YOU, BUT I WON’T BECAUSE I KNOW YOU’RE PRETTY AWESOME MOST OF THE TIME.
The ESTJ X ENFJ is more of a wary mutual respect. We don’t really get each on where-are-you-coming-from level, which can be frustrating. But mad mutual respect for the other’s competencies and the way that we can both take into account the big picture.
The ENFJ X INFJ fall out because we’re so similar that sometimes we discount the other person’s differences. I get really frustrated on INFJ’s behalves, too - because selling themselves (they have so many talents to offer the world!) is not something that they wear comfortably, and so their skills often get overlooked.
Prompt Submitted by Liz:
An ESFP, ENFJ, INTP, and ESTJ start a band. Go.
ESFP: OK, so clearly this was my idea, because I want to be a ROCKSTAR. Plus, like, look at my flashy outfit.
ESTJ: I’m the one with the killer vocals-
INTP: Um, I didn’t realize you sing.
ESTJ: One of the many things I am exceedingly good at.
ESFP: But I’M the flashy one. And, like, ANTICS!
INTP: I don’t have to sing, do I?
ESFP: Nah, bro. You can hold down the guitar line with your mystifyingly intuitive skills in complex rhythm and harmony.
INTP: Um, are we going to have to play live? Can we just hide in the recording studio and explore the nuances of recording technique?
ESTJ: I have, while you guys were talking, acquired a number of second hand amps and some other gear. I did a cost benefit analysis, too, in case you want to have a look.
ENFJ: How…. did this happen. And would this be a good time to mention that I have a journal full of song lyrics and poetry in my bag?
Anonymous asked: ENFJ/ESTJ love/hate bromance
ESTJ: Let’s play all the sports!
ENFJ: Sure, if it means we can spend time together!
ESTJ: LET’S PLAY MORE SPORTS.
ENFJ: Ummm, I will be over here reading, I think.
ESTJ: Hey, that was a great soccer-baseball game you missed!
ENFJ: Oh yeah?
ESTJ: I met this girl.
ENFJ: Your first girlfriend?
ESTJ: My future wife.
ENFJ: We’re twelve.
ESTJ: I like to commit.
ENFJ: Do you want to play now?
ESTJ: OK. What do you want to play.
ENFJ: A pretend game about pioneers in the wilderness!
ESTJ: Yeah, sure. I’m the boss pioneer. I’ll save you! What are you?
ENFJ: A rabbit.
ESTJ: … Let’s go recruit some more people.
ENFJ: …. Oh.
ESTJ: I want to systematically work through modelled life problems with my future wife. Is that a problem?
ENFJ: Nope. I will be here, reading my book and wiggling my nose.
Maybe because there are so many ISFPs in the world (good for us!), maybe because they are celebrated in Western World kinds of media, or maybe just because they are especially abundant in my line of work, I have divided them into subtypes for easy reference.
I. The Earnest ISFP
Earnest ISFP: In love with love, you say? I make art, spend lots of time outdoors, and am often struck speechless by the more poignant moments of existence! About which I will make more art. I am fraught with inner turmoil, broken dreams, and work consistently towards my goals. Those things that I’m passionate about? I know everything there is to know. People love me wherever I go, but are let down when… oh, excuse me, I need to go stare at that sunset. Come join me, bring that volume of poems.
II. The Intellectual ISFP
Intellectual ISFP: You may have noticed how I casually excel at everything. I would never say as much, but others have pointed out that I am a snappy dresser, a kind person, a natural athlete, and in general, shiny. Women, men and robots fall over themselves to date me. I use my art(s) to better the world in a social and aesthetic way. You can check out my sexy design website listed on my business card, there.
III. The Ambitious ISFP
Ambitious ISFP: I am beautiful and charismatic! I will be the best, most popular ever, and you will not resent me for it at all, because I am just that loveable. And awesome. My style is flawless. I will shameless exploit my natural talents, and do the minimum work required for my rockstar life. I like WINNING.
Um, sure! ISTP and ESFP friends join a running club:
ISTP: I like your shirt!
ESFP: Oh, thanks!
ESFP: I hope you like the back, too, cause that’s all you’re ever gonna see!
ESFP: I’m like a gazelle!
ISTP: I’m like a boston terrier that eats gazelle jerky for breakfast.
A lot of MBTI sites suggest that ENFJs and INFPs make a great match! Perhaps they do, for some people. Some people that have two thumbs, and are not this ENFJ.
Don’t get me wrong, I love INFPs! I grew up with an INFP sibling. Our types do the freaky I-can-tell-what-you’re-thinking-by-looking-at-you thing. Which is partly why it came as a shock to me that ENFJs and INFPs are really bad at communicating with each other.
Here’s what happened when
I tried to date I tried to do the thing before dating with an INFP…
INFP: You’re very competent! And I find your quirky interests attractive!
ENFJ: That’s nice. I’m going to go flirt with the ESFJ in the fancy Italian footwear.
INFP: I will be here, ready to help with anything you might need!
ENFP Coworker: I am watching this unfold. It will not end well.
ENFJ: Don’t be ridiculous! INFP has a girlfriend.
ENFP Coworker: And a crush.
ENFJ: I would acknowledge that you’re right, but I’d rather be in denial.
[a year, an INFP break-up, and an ENFJ move across the country later]
ENFJ: I often feel like I’m the one initiating all of our conversations.
INFP: You have my full attention. I’m going to text you incessantly.
ENFJ: I am charmed by your witty banter.
INFP: Our interests overlap so thoroughly!
ENFJ: You are smart, and kind, and make me feel extremely special!
INFP: I know. And I behave like this with everyone.
ENFJ: Yeah, I know. I often make fun of you for doing so.
INFP: If I thought about endings, and refrained from using sarcasm, I would say that this will OBVIOUSLY END WELL.
ENFJ: I misguidedly choose to believe you.
[a few months of mutual enabling, talking every day and making lifeplans later..*]
INFP: Come visit!
ENFJ: I am going to come visit, before we actually do something stupid like cycle across the country together. And also this emotional turmoil has dragged on. And I miss your side of the country.
INFP: I will continue to encourage you to do this, though I know you don’t have the financial ressources, and I maaaaay have been leading you on for several months now. COME STAY IN MY HOUSE. It’ll be awesome. Also, come have the holidays at my Mom’s place… just you, me and her.
ENFJ: I don’t think you realize what you just did.
INFP: Definitely not. I will realize just how awkward this will be, half-way through your stay, at which point I will stop making eye-contact or talking to you when we are around other people. Capiche?
ENFJ: I am going to attempt to throw myself at you, once more, for good measure.
INFP: I will affirm your advances by… not noticing.
ENFJ: I’m going to go make friends with your awesome Mom now, K.
There was always lots of good stuff… like cars, and hockey, and music, and driving, and mutual love for extravagent house-stalking! But in the end, it really was not equal to the communication fail and emotional hand-wringing on both sides.
(*It was also an ENFP friend, who at this point suggested that we were already kind of in some sort of long-distance relationship…)
Anonymous asked: infp x enfj???
Oh I’ll get to this one, I promise! It’s, in part, a cautionary tale :)
could you do an INFP x INTP argument, pretty please?
INTP: I am going to analyze this highly sensitive topic in a completely impersonal way.
INFP: I see your point, but you are being kind of offensive.
INTP: But I’m right. Why are you getting mad?
INFP: Because this is the way I FEEL.
INTP: But it’s illogical. We usually agree about these things.
INFP: My feelings are valid. And so are the feelings of these other million people.
INTP: Ok, but I find it a inconvenient that you need to feel these things in public.
INTP: Why did you stop messaging? Are you still there?
INFPs are conflict avoiding peeps - they’ll only invest the energy if they see it as being worth the effort, ie if it’s a very dear subject to them, or they care about the “personal growth” of the other party involved. INTPs however like to argue things out… feelings have got nothing to do with it! Why would they?
Anonymous asked: ISTJ and ESFJ parents, INTJ daughter?
ESFJ: I’M GETTING MY FEELINGS ON!
ISTJ & INTJ retreat into another room (or two separate rooms in opposite ends of the house) and marathon episodes, in order, of their current Sci Fi/Fantasy TV show.
PS- I love the submitted prompts! Keep ‘em coming :)
I get along very well with ISTPs. Well, the ones that are older than me. My age?
ISTP: Rage! Anarchy!
ENFJ: I’m so onto you. I saw you do that incredibly kind thing earlier.
ISTP: Kindess is a false construct! Expletives!
ENFJ: Let me do this one thing for you.
ISTP: Why are you doing this?! Did you have to?
ENFJ: No. But I am able to, so I want to.
ISTP: Expletives! I am going to say shocking things!
ENFJ: I see your big, big, teddy bear heart.
ISTP: I will gouge out your teddy bear’s EYES with this pocket knife.
ENFJ: Can we bring in the ISFP to diffuse this hostage situation?
Mostly, though, we get stuck in this never-ending loop:
ISTP: Stop trying to make me self-actualize! It makes me so mad!
ENFJ: I didn’t mean to! I can’t stop myself!
Anonymous asked: ISTPxENTJ ship?
ENTJ: Now that I’ve established dominance in my work and social spheres, I am ready to find a mate!
ENTJ: Why helloooooo.
ISTP: You. Come here.
ENTJ: Thanks, universe! I knew you’d provide.
Universe: Like I had a choice in the matter.
ENTJ: I don’t know what you’re talking about. Smiley face.
Universe: Splutter! Blackmail! Incriminating photos! You’re evil!
ENTJ: But effective. Wink.
Universe: Only ENTJs send me threatening texts.
ISTP: Let’s go for a ride on my motorbike!
ENTJ: Yes please.
ENTJ: Yes please.
ISTP: I’m gonna build a bar into your kitchen.
ENTJ: Delightful. I’m going to sit here, drink hard liquor, and plan how we’re going to take over the world.
ISTP: Is role-play involved?
ENTJ: You’re so hot.
ISTP: I know.
ENTJ: Take off everything but the tool belt.
Hahahaha. With apologies to the universe.